Situation:Terminal
Okay, so here is the situation:
- almost 39 years since birth.
- 175lbs - 34 inch waist. and the last 30lbs is all since I turned 30.
- Various gray hairs.
- moments of sheer terror/insight that this thing I’m walking around inside is GOING TO FAIL.
So, what’s a 21st century man supposed to do?
OPTIONS:
- Ignore it. Ain’t nothing to do about it anyways. Pass me another stiff drink.
- Join a religion. Endorse the idea of an eternal existence, despite all intelligent evidence that it’s bunk.
- Join a gym. Start buying “health” products that guarantee a longer life! Join organize sports. Stand on scales and look at muscles in mirror. Buy a Bo-Flex!
- Write the book, the one in your head that is DESTINED to be required reading for 22nd century college students!
- Engage in as much sex as civil society will allow. Find approval in the eyes of young impressionable women. Trick trophy bride to marry you, before she figures out your really a loser in an Armani Suit.
- Buy convertible, vacation home, RV and/or small plane. Ignore it because you don’t have enough time to use it anyways.
- Make and spend as much money as you can get away with. Try to make the money first, but exploit credit if necessary.
- Start a internet blog. Seek public attention and adoration. Everybody gets their 15GB of fame!
- Repeat the list often, until something makes you stop.
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